Is it a noun, adverb or adjective? Is it a concept, feeling or value? Is it satisfaction, achievement or happiness, a million jades laid, this is extremely sought-after relation which is meant to induce selflessness in people?
When two or more persons decide to start a journey together to explore and experience the events of life, then starts the relationship which is supposed to shower the feelings of Life in Life, amongst all involved, called friendship.
kehte hain or aapne suna bhi hai kai baar, baar baar (it is said, and you must have heard time & again) that if you want complete understanding in any relationship then be the friend of that person. Parent- child friendship, husband- wife friendship, teacher- student friendship, friendship between siblings.
This is that one relation which is so giving and full of happiness, where you feel like being yourself, limitless manifestation of your emotions, laughter, joy and immense belongingness. But suddenly what happens that makes the same relationship toxic and starts making you a dysfunctional, anxious and an unhappy person. Suddenly it starts being emotionally draining and exhausting to even have a conversation. Have you ever thought why?
These are few facts to think:
• Friendships are considered to exist when being with another person is nothing short of pure delight. However, when being with someone becomes a duty, instead of a preference, friendships begin to fade.
• The construct of friendship implies reciprocity. This is not in the sense of an immediate even exchange economic model of behavior, but the support is expected to flow both ways as needs arise for either party.
• Levels of friendship commitment vary over a lifetime, depending on the energy required by family or other commitments at the time. However, many individuals believe that when crises strike, true friends can be counted on to offer support, regardless of any inconvenience or challenges they may face to do so.
• We engage in friendships on a voluntary basis and we recognize that our friends are also making the choice to engage with us. This strong mutual alliance was summed up clearly by someone in the following manner, “I feel like my circle of friends are the family I chose.”
Perhaps more importantly, genuine friendships will flourish only if mutual connect exists between friends.
By Minu Dubey
Counselor & Psychologist