Most of us are shocked, astonished and devastated for last few days due to an incident happened which left us to think the unthinkable.
You all know what I am talking about. Yes, the End of life by a striving, accomplished 34 year young man. Most people who were close to or knew him will spend sleepless and endless nights with the guilt of how their connection with him wasn’t strong enough, where did it lack. They will ponder and converse over why he never really said anything about what he was going through. Did he not, though? Or did we just not listen? Most of us think that people do not speak, but very few think about how we are as listeners. As listeners, we always expect and accept matters which are socially desirable and acceptable. When someone tries to speak up, we consider it unimportant just because it is unimportant socially. The fear of being labelled as Insane, stupid, immature, unwise stops us to knock any door. I, as a Psychologist, do not hesitate to say that if we can be judgmental about the clothes people wear, where they live , the curtains, bedsheets and furniture people use, the openness to what someone feels and goes through is a far cry. it takes a lot for a person in emotional turmoil to speak, but it takes much more to listen without judgment and pure acceptance. Do you, in actuality, believe that someone who was so gravely disturbed, that it forced him to take away his own life, did not really try enough to speak up/talk. or was it us, who sat with curtained ears. Listening is a higher order skill and is just not there which is proved by someone opting to not to speak. Unconditional positive regard for the speaker is what it takes to be a good listener . But we are so tuned to impose, that’s where the door opens or shuts.
So I leave you with something to ponder over, Is it he who needed help or is it us who need it right now???